Last week I wrote about personality types and learning more about who you are internally! Here we go with one of my other favourite personality quizzes! Many may think the 5 Love Languages test isn’t “personality” but I think the complete opposite! Although it may be obvious to some what you are, learning how you like to give and accept love, or learning how your partner lives to give and accept love can be a vital part of maintaining your relationship!
Most people are a pretty even balance of them all, but there is usually still one or two that stand out more than the others. How you like to show love may not be the same as how you like to receive love either. You may ADORE baking for others (acts of service) because you’re not super mushy verbally (words of affirmation) but hate when other people try to help you out!
You may be super cuddly (physical touch) and that’s enough for you to feel the love, but maybe your partner needs a thoughtful present here and more than you do (receiving gifts) to know you’re thinking of them. Everyone’s different and although I thought I knew myself and my love receiving language, I didn’t realize how strongly my love giving language was portrayed.
For me, Acts of Service, Physical Touch & Quality Time are my top love languages. And that doesn’t mean I don’t want Words of Affirmation or Receiving Gifts at all, it just means it’s not THE most impactful way to do things!!
5 Love Languages
Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship.
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality Time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.
Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous – so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly.